And I thought my jokes were bad (с)
читать дальше
You know, you remind me of my father. I hated my father! (с)
Look at me. So I had a wife, beautiful, like you, who tells me I worry too much. Who tells me I ought to smile more. Who gambles and gets in deep with the sharks... Look at me! One day, they carve her face. And we have no money for surgeries. She can't take it. I just want to see her smile again, hm? I just want her to know that I don't care about the scars. So... I stick a razor in my mouth and do this... to myself. And you know what? She can't stand the sight of me! She leaves. Now I see the funny side. Now I'm always smiling! (с)
I like this job - I like it! (с)
Oh, you. You just couldn't let me go, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You are truly incorruptible, aren't you? Huh? You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won't kill you because you're just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever. (с)
It wasn't hard. You see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little push! (с)
The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules! (с)
See, I'm a man of simple tastes. I like dynamite, and gunpowder... And gasoline! Do you know what all of these things have in common? They're cheap! (с)
Wanna know how I got these scars? (с)
My father was... a drinker. And a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. Turns to me and he says "Why so serious?" Comes at me with the knife,"Why so serious?" He sticks the blade in my mouth. "Let's put a smile on that face!" And... Why so serious? (с)
I'm a man of my word. (с)
If you're good at something, never do it for free. (с)
You have nothing, nothing to threaten me with. (с)
Not in my diagnosis! (Dr. Jonathan Crane)
- You're crazy.
- I'm not. No, I'm not. (с)
- Then why do you want to kill me?
- I don't want to kill you! What would I do without you? Go back to ripping off mob dealers? No, no, NO! No. You... you... complete me
- You're garbage who kills for money.
- Don't talk like one of them. You're not! Even if you'd like to be. To them, you're just a freak, like me! They need you right now, but when they don't, they'll cast you out, like a leper! You see, their morals, their code, it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these... these civilized people, they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve.(с)
I had a vision, of a world without Batman. The mob ground out a little profit and the police tried to shut them down, one block at a time. And it was so... boring. I've had a change of heart.
I don't want Mr.Reese spoiling everything, but why should I have all the fun? Let's give someone else a chance. If Coleman Reese isn't dead in sixty minutes then I blow up a hospital. (с)
Those mob fools want you gone so they can get back to the way things were.
But I know the truth: there's no going back. You've changed things... forever. (с)
- Harvey Dent never made it home.
- Of course not.
- What have you done with him?
- Me? I was right here. (с)
- Where is he?
- What's the time?
- What difference does that make?
- Well, depending on the time, he may in one spot, or several. (с)
- I'm betting The Joker told you to kill me soon as we loaded the cash.
- No. No, no, no. I kill the bus driver.
- Bus driver? What bus dri-? (с)
Oh, and by the way, the suit, it wasn't cheap. You oughta know, you bought it. (с)
How about a magic trick?
I'm gonna make this pencil disappear.
Ta-daa! It's... it's gone. (с)
You and your kind, all you care about is money. This city deserves a better class of criminal.
And I'm gonna give it to them! (с)
Never start with the head, the victim gets all fuzzy. (с)